Smoking and Dating

There is nothing I hate more than people who are self-righteous about not smoking. Far too many Americans have fallen prey to the excesses of anti-smoking campaigns. They actually get genuinely upset or frustrated when they see someone else making a conscious and educated decision to smoke. So let me preface this post by pointing out that I don't give a shit if you smoke. Do what you want.

I don't smoke. A few months ago I met a European girl at a nightclub in San Diego. I got her number and we went out a couple times. I didn't know at first that she was a smoker, but I wasn't very surprised when I found out - after all, she was European. The first time we made out, I could taste the cigarettes in her mouth, even though it had been hours since she'd smoked one. Because I was trying to have sex with her, I didn't bring it up.

However, the next time I did point it out to her. It would have been dishonest to continue to pretend that I didn't notice it, or that it wasn't a big deal. So after kissing for a little while I stopped and said, "You know, your mouth tastes like cigarettes. I don't like it." She was clearly embarrassed, but I didn't dwell on it. The point was made; there was no need to prolong her embarrasment. We did stop kissing though.

The next time we went out, she informed me that she had quit. I honestly believe that - despite the brief embarrasment - the two sentences I uttered did more to help her chances with men than any other two that had fallen on her ears in her life.

If you are dating a non-smoker, you can be sure that he is repulsed by the taste of cigarette smoke, and probably the smell as well. While some non-smokers might tolerate it, they do not like it. If you are dating and he makes no mention of the fact that it bothers him, you can be sure he is very attracted to you. If he is willing to risk mentioning it, he is probably not very attracted to you.

If you only smoke a couple cigarettes a week, it probably isn't a big deal either way from a smell and taste perspective - assuming you brush your teeth afterwards. But there are many men (in the United States anyway) that are more repulsed by the idea of smoking than they are by STDs or dreadlocks. As absurd as this might be, it is the way it is.

Countless men have told me that they would never date a smoker, and a large number of guys have told me they think it is disgusting. I've never been told by a non-smoker that that he didn't really care if a girl smokes.

Again, I am referring only to guys that don't smoke. Guys that do smoke obviously are a different matter. Most of them don't care if a girl smokes or not. Some might prefer it.

It is worth noting that smoking does facilitate social interaction in bars and nightclubs. You can always go to the smoking area and strike up a converstion almost immediately. But the number of men that want a girl who smokes is negligible.

So like I said at the outset, do what you want. But if you are trying to attract men, smoking isn't helping you.