I want you to help me conduct an experiment.
For a couple of years now I've realized just how much I am attracted to the hairstyle that most women call "half-up, half-down" or more simply, "half-up." Whatever it is called, I love it when girls wear their hair the way the women in these pictures are wearing it. It is extremely sexy and elegant at the same time, and immediately draws me to a woman. It is almost uncanny how much it affects my judgement of a woman's appearance. I find myself checking out bigger girls who are wearing their hair that way, or losing interest in (previously) attractive women once they change from that hairstyle to another, or else staring at a picture of a normal girl, not understanding why I am attracted, only to eventually realize that her hair is half-up.
I've thought a lot about why I like it so much, but nothing makes sense. I've never dated a girl who wore it that way often, or even had a crush on one who did. My mom or sisters never really wore their hair like that, my babysitters didn't, my teachers didn't - no one did. The only semi-believable reason I can think of is that some of the female Disney characters (who for most men my age were the first icons of female beauty) wore their hair like that, and maybe left an impression on me; though I don't remember being particularly attracted to one more than any of the others. It isn't an overly popular hairstyle in the United States. In fact, it is practically never worn in comparison to, say, Turkey and Italy or Lebanon (and probably other Mediterranean countries), where it is extremely popular.*
In any case, this has puzzled me enough that I've started asking my male friends what they think about this hairstyle; and I've been surprised to hear how much they agree that it is really attractive. In other words, maybe it isn't just my personal taste.
So here is what I would like you to do: the next time you go out, wear your hair in some variation of the "half-up" style depicted here, especially if it is not a style you usually wear. Go out like you normally would and pay attention to what happens. Then, in the comments of this post, report your findings. Let me know what comments you receive - positive or negative - and let me know if you had more or less (and better or worse) attention from men. You can also comment on the type of men if you notice a trend. Get your girlfriends to do the same on another night (so that you aren't all wearing the same hairstyle - awkward) and see how it works for them, or have them leave their own comments.
As motivation, here are some thoughts about how participating in this experiment could benefit you:
For a couple of years now I've realized just how much I am attracted to the hairstyle that most women call "half-up, half-down" or more simply, "half-up." Whatever it is called, I love it when girls wear their hair the way the women in these pictures are wearing it. It is extremely sexy and elegant at the same time, and immediately draws me to a woman. It is almost uncanny how much it affects my judgement of a woman's appearance. I find myself checking out bigger girls who are wearing their hair that way, or losing interest in (previously) attractive women once they change from that hairstyle to another, or else staring at a picture of a normal girl, not understanding why I am attracted, only to eventually realize that her hair is half-up.
I've thought a lot about why I like it so much, but nothing makes sense. I've never dated a girl who wore it that way often, or even had a crush on one who did. My mom or sisters never really wore their hair like that, my babysitters didn't, my teachers didn't - no one did. The only semi-believable reason I can think of is that some of the female Disney characters (who for most men my age were the first icons of female beauty) wore their hair like that, and maybe left an impression on me; though I don't remember being particularly attracted to one more than any of the others. It isn't an overly popular hairstyle in the United States. In fact, it is practically never worn in comparison to, say, Turkey and Italy or Lebanon (and probably other Mediterranean countries), where it is extremely popular.*
In any case, this has puzzled me enough that I've started asking my male friends what they think about this hairstyle; and I've been surprised to hear how much they agree that it is really attractive. In other words, maybe it isn't just my personal taste.
So here is what I would like you to do: the next time you go out, wear your hair in some variation of the "half-up" style depicted here, especially if it is not a style you usually wear. Go out like you normally would and pay attention to what happens. Then, in the comments of this post, report your findings. Let me know what comments you receive - positive or negative - and let me know if you had more or less (and better or worse) attention from men. You can also comment on the type of men if you notice a trend. Get your girlfriends to do the same on another night (so that you aren't all wearing the same hairstyle - awkward) and see how it works for them, or have them leave their own comments.
As motivation, here are some thoughts about how participating in this experiment could benefit you:
- You might discover a hairstyle that looks good on you.
- I've been told it is an "easy" hairstyle to make and wear.
- By taking a fashion risk, you will better understand what hairstyles look good on you.
- You will expand your comfort zone, and therefore your confidence.
- Because this hairstyle is not very popular in the countries that most of my readers are from, you will most likely stand out from other girls - in a good way.
- You will contribute to the pool of knowledge about what men like.
I'll look forward to seeing the results.
_______________________________
* The fact that all of these countries are more sexually polarized than the United States is another hint at what I suspect might be the reason why men find it so attractive.
It reminds a bit of the hairstyle Brigitte Bardot was known for, with short layers in front and the hair 'pushed up' on the crown
ReplyDeletehttp://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4NcylXDL5Bw/ThO2Mr9NtUI/AAAAAAAAFyI/VZY1zkVfEh8/s1600/brigitte+bardot+long+hair+5.jpg
The 'bouffant' variant was popular in the 60s. Maybe that's why we see less of it now, since hair trends tend to change.
I wear my hair like this quite a bit, but the amount of attention is usually the same as when I have it down and styled (but always more than when it's up).
Maybe a lot of women shy away from it if they don't have very full hair. If it's already thin/lacking in volume, you'll be able to tell in the lengths.
You kind of remind me of "fashion by He". Or rather He is kind of a tangent of the rules revisited. Obviously Andrews information is a lot more helpful overall and even a little kinder or respectful of women, but He is an interesting guy, too, especially if you're wondering about improving appearances.
ReplyDeletemakes sense. you can see the woman's face/bone structure/neck/shoulders, but still have the sex appeal of hair that is down (long, feminine, full, aka not haphazardly pulled up in a pony tail or uptight bun)
ReplyDeletemy second signature hairstyle! its the best! Creates an illusion of pulled back/slanty eyes, raised and fuller cheekbones, and a symmetrical/balanced face. In the photos above, all their eyes and cheeks are enhanced due to this style, mostly on Eva Mendes. It's such a flirty hairstyle, that's why men love it.
ReplyDeleteBeyonce's (and Freida's) is my least favourite, she doesn't have the hair falling on her face, that's what makes this style so special and flirty.
As this is my signature style, i wouldn't notice any particular difference in the number of my suitors, so i hope someone comes back with some results.
I was wondering what men thought of the cheerleader high pony hair style? It is when hair is tied very tightly near the top of the head like this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.studybreaks.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/high-bound-ponytail.jpg
Is it attractive? Would you be attractive because of this hairstyle or in spite of it?
I've seen it worn well, but I prefer half-up personally. In college I was really into french braids but no one really shared my opinion
DeleteHm...but I'm pretty sure that I remember all the VS models wearing their hair down. They seem to be the definition of "sexy." I'll try and report back.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really youthful look, I know I used to wear my hair this way in my mid twenties till a colleague told me I looked about sixteen.It is sexy as the hair isn't completely loose giving a hint of mystery and class.Girls with high cheekbones look great with their hair like this.Hmm Im tempted to try this look again and report back :-)
ReplyDeleteI believe certain styles just look youthful on some women..I have high cheekbones and I often wear my hair in a high messy bun which I have been told is elegant. I got told today by a pharmacist that I look 18/19 when I was asking him advice on a vitamin..and I am 28 (a dentist and a nurse commented similarly in the last year so maybe I am doing something right!) Great compliment! Maybe it's something to do with the lift you get from tying the hair back. I am certainly going to try the experiment..maybe it might provide the benefits of a bun with more hair framing advantage.
DeleteI always wear my hair like this when I go out. I have baby fine hair, so when I wear it down it gets very flat. Gathering a little bit back 'half up' helps me add volume. Give a little bit of curl to the ends, and I'm set. I'm also partial to pulling hair back from my temples and using bobby pins or clips to pin it to the side of my head rather than pulling it back all the way. Still gives that half-up look from the front and side, but doesn't pull my hair flat. Also looks great when you braid or twist the hair.
ReplyDelete(Tip for ladies with fine, pin-straight hair that won't hold a curl: use salt-water instead of hairspray for a better-looking more natural hold that won't damage your hair over time. Just dilute a few tbsps sea salt into hot water, then pour into an empty spray bottle.)
After a bit of thinking I realised that I may be favoring this style around ovulation. I hope I'm just an outlier/bad datapoint, or we have an even bigger mystery going on.
ReplyDeleteThat would actually support my theory, but let's see how the results come back
DeleteTrue. Not sure why I considered my observation as off.
DeleteIt is kind of undone maybe it reminds you of sex therefore sexy.
ReplyDeleteOk Andrew, you being someone who has never styled long female hair- let alone half up or half down- I am going to share some insight with you regarding this hairstyle. And as an added bonus, I am going to point out what is either a stigma or double standard with it.
ReplyDeleteWhen we (ladies) typically slick out hair back into a half-up style, it is because it is quick and convenient, gets it out of our face and feels good. BUT it does not look like Angelina's, Kim K's, Eva Mendez', or Beyonce's. It usually looks like crap, because layers are a girl's best friend when down and worst enemy when up, or it lays flat against our head. It is not voluminous and bumped like your photos.
In fact, long hair is much heavier and usually pulls itself down unless we use massive amounts of hair spray and then men don't like that it's "crunchy" or smells like chemicals. In order to avoid hairspray at least on top (entirely is not usually possible unless hair is so chemically treated already whether by color or relaxing that it's still and slightly course and adheres to itself because it's lost its silky, healthy luster- also something men do not desire) is to tease the shit out of it in a perfectly arranged coiffe that you can cover with smooth pretty hair. This is extremely difficult, time consuming, and almost never ever turns out perfect. In fact, it usually looks like we tried too hard.
Now, as for the time, even for girls who are pro and don't find this hard- they still spend 25-40 minutes on the hair- by itself. no make up, fretting over clothes, or picking out the right shoes to both look good and walk in all night. Now comes the stigma/double standard. When you meet this girl and how long she took to get ready comes up, men scoff when they find out it's like an hour and a half to realistic 2 hours. And when they hook this chick and want them to keep wearing her hair in the sophisticated yet laid back sexy hairstyle, they complain that it takes us forever to achieve.
Therefore, as girls we ask ourselves- is it worth it to try just to impress a guy especially if he's just gonna get over it when we change our hairstyle? Or is it more worth it to be ourselves, do what's easiest and makes US feel best, not you men? Besides, even until you asked your buddies their opinion, NO MAN pays THAT much attention to hair. We could dye it pink one day and you'd barely notice. A dramatization yes, but y'all get my point.
I agree that this hairdo takes a lot of time to achieve, most 'messy' hairdos do. But if you're going to make your hair look great, it'll take at least 25 minutes anyway. For any hairstyle, whether it's a slick ponytail, loose waves or this do, the more work, the better it looks.
DeleteI have long, naturally full blonde hair with some waves. I take at least 40 mins every morning to style it, and that is after it's dry (add one hour for washing and drying). I get up extra early for hair and makeup, earlier than most women and a LOT earlier than those whose hair looks like a bird's nest.
You just have to find the crossing point between how good you want to look and how much time you're willing to spend. I don't think Andrew was saying that this hairdo is easier to achieve than other hairdos.
Most men know women take time to get ready - if you've dated a guy who complains about it, he either has to go or put up with you looking like a slob.
There are hair styling crutches available if you don't want to backcomb to get the required volume on top; tiny foam pads with velcro that disappear well enough into hair as to not be visible while adding the required volume. After seeing the results, I'm almost 100% certain that most photos in this article feature those kinds of volume puffs.
DeleteActually, it has been my experience that men who truly want high maintenance women, like Andrew here, never complain about how long it takes to get ready.
DeleteI once dated a guy like that, who truly desired a beautiful high maintenance woman and never once complained. In fact, he was very good about making sure he gave me enough time to look pretty for him. If he called last minute to do something, he would always say, call me back when you are almost ready and I'll come pick you up. It didn't matter if I called him back in 20 minutes or 2 hours. He just wanted me to look good.
No opinions about bangs?
ReplyDeleteAndrew I doubt you will get a straight report back from women. Clearly. Lol
ReplyDelete^pahaha
DeleteHello Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your blog!
The half-up style theory is very interesting and made me wonder about the hair-all-on-one-side style. Do you think both styles have the same effect?
Examples:
http://primped4.hcdn1.net/images/uploads/zoes_blog/june_celebs/88424618.jpg
http://i.shoppinglifestyle.com/gallery/2011/01/06_SelenaGomez.jpg
http://www.glamour.com/beauty/blogs/girls-in-the-beauty-department/2011/06/01/0601-miranda_kerr_sideswept_hair_bd.jpg
I don't think they have the same effect, no. The hair all on one side is much less symmetrical and therefore (I think) less attractive - though I am sure there is a subset of guys that like it more; I just think it will be a different subset than the guys that really like half-up.
DeleteI tried it today. I have long dark hair and fair skin with blue eyes. I think that this look tends to make me look European and you mentioned in your post that it is more common in other countries. Well, I'm not sure if it had the intended effect on me. I was leered at by two men in the grocery store who made me feel very uncomfortable. They were two Italian men in their late 20's. I know that because they were speaking to one another in Italian while staring for far too long. Maybe I reminded them of home. Sorry if this doesn't support or deny your theory, but that is what my experience with this hairstyle was. Do you think that it appeals more to certain types of men?
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I am curious to see how it affects things in a bar/nightclub setting.
DeleteMy expectation is that it will attract men who are more masculine, since it is a very feminine hairstyle. I also thought it would help filter men looking for quick sex, since it is more sophisticated looking (they would be attracted but figure you wouldn't be the kind of girl to "put out").
Thanks for giving it a shot. Let us know what happens if you try it in a nightlife setting.
"I also thought it would help filter men looking for quick sex, since it is more sophisticated looking (they would be attracted but figure you wouldn't be the kind of girl to "put out")."
DeleteDoesn't this interfere with your advice regarding "attracting the wrong attention"? :) I have commented before that I think a particularly sophisticated and elegant style attracts a different type of men. I think sexy clothing and hoop earrings etc will 'attract the wrong men' in the sense that those looking for a sophisticated women will not consider you seriously (although it will not necessarily label you a 'slut'). What I'm saying is that you confirm here that a woman's clothing, hairstyle and makeup does affect men's perception of her promiscuity, it's not just about "hot" vs "not hot".
Good point. I guess what I should have said (to be accurate, not just to remain consistent) is that it would be a green flag to men looking for something serious, not a red flag for men looking for something casual.
DeleteThe half-up hairstyle seems pretty on me, but I find that I'm sacrificing much of my hair's volume in order to wear it this way (since the more voluminous front portions of my hair get pulled to the back). My hair looks much thinner this way and has lost some of its thickness. Is it worth the trade?
DeleteHard to say without seeing it. If you want to e-mail me pictures I can tell you what I think, but I suspect there is SOME way to either maintain the volume (most of the examples I have photos of above ADD volume, not reduce it) or strike a balance between what you usually have and what the half-up style gives you.
DeleteYep! Tried it and it's a winner! I asked BF what exactly he liked and he said that it gave the impression of luxurious volume.
ReplyDeleteBut he still thought it was a good idea to rotate styles.
Thanks andrew! I have fine wavy hair. This hairstyle literally takes me a minute!
Also, I'm wearing this hairstyle again today and I notice that I'm acting more lady-like. I feel like I'm acting more dainty (not hunching over my plate when I eat, etc.) It just feels odd wearing this hairstyle and combining it with my usual "sloppier" habits. It's kind of like wearing a dress that makes you feel pretty. I notice that when I feel pretty it actually takes effort to be sloppy.
DeleteI think this is my favorite comment so far. It is actually more than I expected to happen, but it makes sense that you experienced this.
Deletei thought this post was interesting because the man i'm dating recently told me i should try my hair this way. i was surprised because i don't often get hair advice from men. i didn't try it, but i think i will now. at least i know he'll like it!
ReplyDeleteAndrew after reading your post, I actually took you up on your word and went out this weekend to a few bars with my hair styled this way. Interestingly enough, I gave my number out to six guys!!! I have curly hair and let my curls loosen up a bit with a few strands hanging towards the front of my face.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip! I'll try it again more often.
Thoughts on pigtails?
ReplyDeleteI used to be really into French braids but I grew out of it. I suspect some guys might like pigtails, but I'm guessing it is a negligibly small group.
DeletePigtails if you're 5?
ReplyDeletedefinitely works!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could pull off this style, but it just doesn't work for my baby-fine hair.
ReplyDeleteI've got lots of layers to create volume -- long layers past my shoulders, shorter layers up to ear-length. With my hair down, I can tease up a good amount of fullness. But when I gather the top half and pin it up, poof -- the volume is gone, and all I have is some long straight hair hanging there looking lifeless.
If I curled the heck out of my hair, then I might have enough volume to do half-up. But when my hair is curled, it gets a lot shorter! No thanks.
Of course, cartoon characters can pull off this style, no problem. :
I agree with you, Maya! The most important thing is to choose the best haircut for your individual hair type. I also have fine/thin hair so have a medium length layered cut that gives more movement / the illusion of more volume. I've noticed an increase in my "attractiveness" from men with this cut - because it hides the 'fault' of fine/thin hair. However, this cut decidedly DOES NOT lend itself to the 'half up' hairstyle.
DeleteTo do the 'half up' you have to have medium-long, 1 length hair (or only very few face framing layers ie 'long bangs') and this style is particularly good for corse hair, which when 1 length can be overwhelming and shapeless. Perhaps this is the reason this style is more common in the areas Andrew mentioned, where people have corse hair?
For me personally, when I've had the long 1 length haircut it just looks fine and thin and no amount of styling it into a 'half up' will add to my attractiveness as much as a cut that allows me to wear a medium-long length of hair with the illusion of more volume. And a good layered cut gives 'shape' which removes the necessity of creating shape with the 'half up' style - the 'half up' style is a way to compensate for the shapelessness of 1-length haircuts.
The main point, I think, is that men find a combo of 3 things attractive - 1. Length 2. Volume 3. Shape. There is more than one way to achieve this combo, and the 'half up' isn't it for everyone.
Andrew, one of my guy friends used to insist that I go out to a sports bar wearing a baseball hat for a game. He thought that a) girls look cute in baseball hats and other sports gear, b) that it would provide an easy conversational topic for men who want to strike up a casual conversation, and c) that by putting on this "prop" the girl wearing it would also subconsiously send out other signals that she was single and ready to mingle.
ReplyDeleteI tried it, and it actually worked ridiculously well. Once a bunch of dude who live in a building BEHIND me yelled out at me while they were on their back deck and I was walking down the stairs in my building.
Have you ever noticed this? What are your thoughts on hats and athletic stuff?
This is a completely different type of "game" - but I agree that it works. You aren't attracting him by sexuality or femininity when you do this, but you are attracting him, by identifying with him. You are showing him that you are down-to-earth and know about the things he likes. This gives him an easy opportunity to interact with you. Read this post:
Deletehttp://www.davidwygant.com/women/if-you-cant-beat-him-play-with-his-balls/
How many guys do you think feel this way?
DeleteI have no interest in sports and I have about as little knowledge about it as is possible.
But I don't expect him to come shopping with me, join art classes with me or visit a jewelry exhibition with me. Isn't it okay that some things are between him and his mates?
Probably all guys that are (a) into sports, and (b) have trouble approaching women without an excuse (i.e. the hat). My guess is 50% but that is just a gut feeling.
DeleteBtw, by "yelled at me" I just meant that they called over to me and struck up a conversation based on the team I was supporting.
ReplyDeleteI wear my hair either like this particular style or pulled over one shoulder, sometimes fishtail braided. I think both approaches are youthful and very feminine in style which contrasts with sleek bobs which to me are more masculine in style. I think hair pulled back entirely into a ponytail looks cute and sporty, but not as feminine. I also think loose strands around the face make it look like it's not a fancy do, and also as if you are naturally pretty and maybe like you just had sex. Hair is a big deal to men! Even if they don't know why. (for baby fine hair - which I have - use a spray that gives it more volume - I use Fat Hair Amplifying spray.)
ReplyDeletePer your suggestion, I wore this style to work for a week. I definitely think it had an impact on the men in my office. Two different guys paid extra attention to me in passing. Is it measurable? Not really. I do think that the hairstyle made me appear more feminine and soft. Those two guys at different times gave me a "lit-up" smile and one of them tried to help me with something that I was struggling with.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. I appreciate the extra effort of doing it for a week. Glad it had a positive effect.
DeleteI find it mildly amusing that you like this hairstyle, because a long time ago, when my hair was styleable (it's in dreadlocks now), when I was in my teens, I wore my hair half up like this every day. Eventually I got bored and tired of it, and then, later on, I even went so far as to decide that it was a fashion faux pas, analogous to the mullet hairstyle on men (short on top, long in the back). Now that I've mentioned the mullet, you might see the similarity. So I went to the opposite extreme as you have with regard to this hairstyle.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, I no longer criticize hairstyles in the same way that I used to, because I have a set of all-encompassing hair rules now, and pretty much all hairstyles fail to meet the standard, so I don't even try to criticize the details of hairstyles which, to me, are beyond all hope of salvaging (rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic).
But if I take myself back in time... what did I like about that hairstyle back when I was wearing it? My hair was up out of my face. It didn't hang down in my eyes. It revealed my face. And yet, it symbolically showed that I had 'long' (quote unquote) hair (the hair was not really long).
It makes the neck and ears visible and accessible. When hair is pulled back from the face, it is as though the woman is lying down on her back. Hair 'in the wild' would only behave that way if she were lying down on her back, and if she were standing up, in a primitive culture where nobody had invented hair clips yet, her hair would normally always hang down around her face. So perhaps it reminds people of what women's hair looks like during sex.
Hair in a ponytail does not have the same effect, because a woman lying down on her back normally would not have the hair perfectly tucked completely behind her the way it is in a ponytail.
Again, just a theory. I'm using the same principles behind why high heels make women's legs look sexy. But I could be over-generalizing. Maybe not everything on earth follows the 'it's sexy if it looks like something that happens during sex' rule.
I am extremely curious how your strict hair rules landed you at dreadlocks... I am assuming attracting men is not one of them? I don't mean any offense by that, but I assume most people realize that it isn't exactly the most beautiful hairstyle. Or maybe you had extremely thin hair and you wanted more volume?
DeleteYes, being attractive to the majority of people is not the purpose of the standard. There is a significant minority of people who love dreadlocks, but even I myself do not think that my own dreadlocks look good (although I like some other people's). I do actually feel insecure about my looks, and I am aware that most people don't like the way that I choose to look, but I have reasons why I've chosen this, and I hold on to that, because it is meaningful and important to me.
ReplyDeleteMy hair standards are directed at a small minority of people, a 'niche market' who are seeking something that they cannot find anywhere else and are desperately looking for. There are also other meanings that are part of my standard, which are spiritual or psychological or religious - I am an atheist, but nevertheless, hair is a religion to me. Extremely long hair is a lifetime commitment and requires great self-restraint, a long-term view, and a resistance to fashion fads and trends.
This site is kind of slow loading, and I don't go there very often, but here is a picture of someone whose hair and beard are ideal according to my standards, Soaring Eagle: http://www.dreadlockssite.com/photo/albums/18th-birthday-of-the-dreadies .
I also value extremely long hair that is brushed and loose, though, not just dreadlocks.
I used to have loose hair in the past, but it only grew down to about mid-thigh length before it reached terminal length. Hair is 'programmed' to fall out and start growing again from the root once it grows for a certain number of years, and this is your terminal length, which varies from person to person.
However, if you grow dreadlocks, the hairs cannot disconnect after they fall off at the root. They remain tangled in the lock, even though they are no longer connected to your head. So you can grow dreadlocks to an infinite length. That's the experiment that I'm doing right now - I'm waiting to see what will happen to my hair over time as I allow it to grow in dreadlocks. Oddly, it's actually gotten shorter, because the hairs get wadded up and looped up when they tangle into the locks, so I still have to wait a while to see how long my hair will grow.
For some people, it is very satisfying to observe their hair's growth progress over time. I used to measure my hair frequently to see how much it had grown. I feel frustrated by short hair that stays the same length forever because people cut it frequently, but I am a minority, because most people prefer hair that is short enough that you can style it in a variety of ways. Long hair cannot be styled like that.
I myself am looking for a man who will ignore my ugliness, because I'm aware that I'm not attractive by most people's standards. However, I believe in open relationships, so if my future husband feels trapped or frustrated he will still be able to meet other women besides me, and that won't be a reason for us to end our relationship.
I do, actually, have extremely thin hair, and the locks do give it more volume than it used to have.
Hair really is a religion to me. The rules are very extreme, and they aren't for everybody. I have to think about difficult issues such as: How do I expect my future husband to get a job whenever he grows his hair and beard in a way that is usually forbidden in the office? And I don't really have a good answer to that question yet, although I'm interested in other religions such as the Amish and the Sikh, which have their own hair standards that are similar to mine. The Amish, for instance, require their people to be farmers, because they believe this is the only suitable lifestyle for them, and on the farm, you can grow your hair however you want. I will probably do something similar in the future, though not exactly like the Amish.
darn it, I forgot to hit 'subscribe by email...'
ReplyDeleteI used to love this hairstyle. My husband hates it because it because it reminds him of mullets.
ReplyDeleteAndrew, what do you think of bangs? Like Zooey Deschanel, often "half-up" and always those thick long bangs. Are guys attracted to bangs?
ReplyDeleteDepends. They work with some face shapes. Read the post titled "how to improve your hair." Google it.
DeleteI had to write just one more thing on the topic of long hair for both men and women. The inevitable question: what would bald men do? Bald men would do exactly the same thing as people who had all of their hair: grow all of what they had left. I took this to a baldness forum and it's turning into a lively discussion. http://www.hairlosshelp.com/forums/messageview.cfm?catid=10&threadid=103177
ReplyDeleteNow I've said enough on that topic and I can drop it. I got more and more off-topic from the original blog post that I was commenting on. But I could not leave it without mentioning baldness.
There is a difference between trying to attract the vast majority of people, versus trying to aim your attractiveness at some particular group of people who are looking for something specific. You might imagine that bald people had no chance at all with long hair lovers, but actually, long hair lovers might be more attracted to a bald guy with long hair than they are to a short-haired guy with a full head of hair. This is very important, and it is true for myself. I'm way off topic, so I'll drop it now.
Anon Dec 3: I have heard at least 5 men say they hate bangs, and that it is the least attractive hairstyle for women. I am sure some like it, but I don't think it will ever fall in the top 5 group of female haristyles (with loose waves, half-up etc.). If you have an attractive face, I see no reason to try and hide 1/3 of it. I think that is part of the reason a lot of women wear it when they get 30+, hiding parts of your face under hair can make you look younger. I still think normal layers is better though.
ReplyDeleteI have very thick long black hair and I wear my hair up like this often and always have - sometimes out of necessity, just to keep it off my damn face. I have always gotten compliments on it when I wear it like this but honestly never thought about it until now. I will have to try this experiment next time I'm out.
ReplyDeleteI know a girl who always wears her hair like this and she does get attention from the highest-quality men, but i thought maybe it's just because she's supposedly famous (Emma Watson's best friend etc), but decided to try it too. I've been wearing ths hairstyle for a while now ever since i'd read this post and it seems to be working extremely well. I have very long and super soft hair whch can look very nice when just down, depending on how it falls, but it doesn't really hold shape. When I wear my hair like this (and especially when i do it well), while i still get attention from creepy men too, as before, they back off a lot sooner now, but i do also get noticeably more admiring stares and chat-up attempts from business guys/ attractive/ respectable men etc - basically I do get more attention but most importantly - I feel much more respected and soo feminine and pretty. I was surprised - thank you Andrew! Looking forward to trying it in a club scenario!
ReplyDeleteI wear my hair like this quite a bit, I have long and think hair which is heavy so it's a great way of giving it a lift at the top and showing some neck/earrings at the same time, while keeping the length.
ReplyDeleteI wore it more after I read this post, I got maybe a little bit more attention than usual, but wasn't sure whether it was due to the hairstyle or some new clothes. I tried it a few more times and I can say it has a wide appeal but I am not sure if it makes a significant difference. I usually get hit on quite a lot, and whether it happens a bit more because of the hairstyle or as a coincidence, I don't know. Since it's an "in between" style, I do think it has a wide appeal - few men are likely to find it unattractive.
Out of the photos you posted, I usually do mine like Angelina or Jessica Chastain. I hate Beyonce's version.
I'm not American btw.
Just to add: I will keep it as one of my favourite hairstyles, but I don't think it's one of those things which gives a very obvious positive effect, like high heels, dangling earrings or tight clothes.
DeleteThanks for the thoughtful feedback.
DeleteI disagree with the Anonymous' above comment about this hairstyle not having an obvious effect. If the girl has a pretty face, hair and a nice figure I think this hairstyle can make a large difference without the high heels etc e.g. I have recently absolutely fell in love with a girl's look (as in i'm a straight girl myself), who was wearing this hairstyle. Then i realised that i'd seen her before but didn't think anything of her; she didn't wear this hairstyle then.
DeleteBut I would be interested to know what others think about this (esp. guys)? And whether there're any other hairstyles that have a similar effect, as don't want to always be wearing the same one?
Extra info: The girl was wearing baggy clothes, no heels, no hoops, simple makeup etc btw, she just had this hairstyle.
DeleteHow do you do this hairstyle when you have flyaways? Flyaways, for the guys here, are very very short wisps of hair that tend to make even the straightest hair look frizzy and static-y. When my hair is completely down, it hides the flyaways, but when I have to pull some of my hair back, those unattractive wisps are brought to full attention.
ReplyDeleteHi Betty,
DeleteHave you tried using a small curling iron to direct your flyaways where to go? I have naturally curly hair and if I don't use any heat or products, my hair is just an awful mess! Perhaps using a super small amount of pomade or hair shine spray can help if you feel that your little guys are too short for a curling iron. Hope this helps!
Hi Andrew! I am a 22 year old recent college graduate and while I am waiting to start my "big girl job" I have retained my undergrad bar-tending job in a college town. While I don't want to sound too immodest, I am naturally a good looking girl (generally considered to be an 8); I wear a size 2 for pants and my undergarments measure at a 34 DD. For me to say that I don't normally get hit on at the job would be a lie.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have been reading your posts for a while and I realized that I am definitely a "cute" girl and not "sexy" with my usual work attire of hair down and straight and a deep V t-shirt. I have kept your suggestions in mind and when I saw your hair experiment, I figured that I might as well give it a try at work!
The results blew my mind! I wore my hair half up with tumbling voluminous waves for the half down part and just to leave my comfort zone, I wore a leather corset with dark wash skinny jeans, and of course what outfit isn't complete without a well done smokey eye and large earrings?
I have never made so much money working at the bar than I did on Friday night and I would like to say thank you for your awesome tips! Please let me know if there are other hair suggestions to try that you/men generally like. =)
Sounds like you applied the lessons well ;)
DeleteBeware, though, that your more feminine, sexier look will attract both good and bad men, so you will need to start filtering more rigorously with the added attention.
Interesting. I wear my hair like this most days to keep it out of the way (I have quite long hair). So normally when I go out I wear it down, as my girl friends compliment me when I wear it like that. (Also I always figured there's a reason they say "letting your hair down".) Maybe I should try wearing it half up next time I go out...after all it's the guys opinions that matter in this case, not the girls! Actually a male friend of mine complimented a photo of me wearing my hair like that, but I just thought it was a good photo, didn't realize it could be the hairstyle. I do think it works better when there's some bangs/loose bits around the face though (as most of the women in these photos have it).
ReplyDeleteI have tried the hairstyle twice during the day. My hair is fairly thick and long so it works well. I am in my 40's so wouldn't normally wear my hair like this. On the first occasion I was at an outdoor event with my daughter...I noticed people of both genders seemed more willing to chat with me than usual and it appeared that some people were looking favourably at the hair..on the second occasion I was at a professional event (legal)..lots of looks but as it was work no comments (inappropriate) ..travelling home on the train I sat next to a man in his 70's who leaned over and said "I think you are very attractive".. lol..not exactly my target age range...I will continue with the experiment and see what happens..
ReplyDeleteI think very simply it has to do with the psychology of hair. The combination of elegance that is ascribed to an updo and approachability and free-spiritedness that we associate with loose, let-down hair equals a very attractive and feminine personality. Although all these girls that say its an arduous task to style their hair this way confound me. Maybe it's because I've got naturally curly and voluminous hair but it is one of the most low maintenance styles for me, leaving me more time to focus on my outfit and makeup.
ReplyDeleteLearn 10 things you probably don’t know about the hair http://www.the-healthiest.com/archives/442
ReplyDeleteIt works and I am VERY surprised. (IGNORE THE FACT I SOUND VERY FULL OF MYSELF.. I've never spoken so openly about my appearance but luckily the anonymity helped dissipate my filter).
ReplyDeleteI'm a very attractive 26 year old female and I thought I wouldn't be able to test this out b/c I already get a ton of attention from people on the regular so I thought there'd be nothing to notice right? Wrong..
I went to a coffee shop to get some studying in. Worked out this morning, showered and didn't bother brushing my hair or putting any make up on. And even though I look way better with make up, I still get a fair amount of attention no matter what (I have blue eyes and long dark brown hair). In the state I was in I look way younger and more like the pretty girl next door.
I was about to pull my hair up in a pony tail to get it out of the way when I thought maybe now's a good time to test it out since I am very sleep deprived and have not a trace of makeup on. I was floored. I honestly got significantly more attention with my hair half up than I ever expected. People were doing double takes, staring even, and i promise I was not in a state that merited any kind of attention (at least not comparable to when I'm more put together). No cleavage, no make up, no skin (except my arms). I stopped by the grocery store on my way home and noticed the attention even more. It works. 110% it works.
Like some of the other women, I didn't (and don't) at all feel like this hair style suits me and usually prefer to wear my hair down (or all up) but my mind is changed. It works. Listen to Andrew and do it! -V
Hi Andrew I'm new to your site and I find that I am really learning a lot from it when it comes to Men and dating...so I was eager to see what the hair experiment was and literally grinned when I saw it because I've had fantastic results myself from previous experiences wearing my hair this way. I tried it again this week just to see what would happen and the guy that I am currently dating would normally say "You look great," whenever we meet up. But with this hairstyle (lol, and perhaps my added confidence) he said, "Wow, you look amazing." :)THX
ReplyDeleteOk I'm very late to the party here, but now you've mentioned it, I HAVE noticed this happening in my own life!
ReplyDeleteI used to wear my hair like this a lot on the way to college - random (albeit drunk) men stopped me in the street. I would get people wolf whistling. And, when getting off the train, a guy who was sat opposite me approached me and asked me for my number.
And, when I've taken pictures of my hair in this style, I get a lot of compliments and attention.. how bizarre! Haha think I will go back to this!
(P.S, new reader, but obsessed with your blog! Thanks a lot!)
Interesting. It definitely works for me! Been wearing this hair style more often recently (before I read this post! Found your blog about a week ago, and really like it), and gotten more attention both from strangers and from people I see every day, and by hotter and higher quality guys as well as the usual ones. That is, I get checked out more, I’ve only worn it in daytime so far (I’ve seen it as a daytime hair style for some reason) so I haven’t gotten hit on more because of it.
ReplyDeleteI don’t get hit on a lot anyway, though I am considered good looking, (I turn heads both during day and night) and I’ve been working on my approachability for a while. I’m a 27 year old Swede btw and though there may not be huge differences in the flirting game in our respective countries, we are generally a bit reserved and, I guess, shy here so that plays in too. I sort of have to tweak your advice in order for it to work for me. It’d be interesting to see your game in a bar here!
It’s too bad people don’t flirt more during the day, I thinks it’s much more fun than in a nightlife setting.
Well, one of my ex-boyfriends told me that he thought the "half-up" hairstyle was the MOST attractive on me but any girl in general.
ReplyDeleteI would assume it's because the half that is up frames the shape of one's head to draw more attention to the face. But simultaneously the half that is down enhances this youthful quality that most men are attracted to. With long, flowing strands moving around her neck, back, collarbone, etc. it accentuates the femininity that is seductively alluring that is most appealing to men.
As a woman, I pride myself in the high maintenance it takes to ensure my hair is "flawless". It's impossible to truly view myself beautiful/pretty if my hair doesn't feel clean and styled.
Let me be clear when I say "high maintenance" that I'm referring to the care, quality, texture, color, etc. and not the football helmet contraption that originates from industrial strength hairspray. But I think its safe to say that men are drawn to women whose hair looks soft and manageable.
The face isn't hidden or obscured from view when the "half-up" hairstyle is on a woman. Which makes it easier to focus on her external and/or internal attractiveness yet opens up the opportunity for that one strand of hair to carefully be swept to the side by yours truly. Also, there is the "less is more revealing" aspect that attributes to a man's attractiveness towards certain women which may set the undertone of it all in retrospect.
One of the biggest compliments I've had was when I was told that I had THE BEST hair out any/all the girls combined from his previous relationships. Men want something to grab onto and having long, lustrous locks definitely has its advantages.
First time reader of your blogs but had to express my appreciation for your insights regarding the mystery of what men think, so thank you. I look forward to losing sleep tonight to read a few more blogs and the regret I won't have because of it.
Thanks again.
I like all the hair styles.All styles looks pretty....I am impressed from your post.All styles are simple but attractive.Thanks for sharing this post with us.
ReplyDeleteI've not worn this style for years! I did today...
ReplyDeleteMy male colleague sitting beside me kept wanting to chat in the middle of the meeting.
Another male colleague who is usually quiet initiated all conversations.
About 8 teenage boys whom I am working with suddenly came swarming over me all at the same time. Dangerous grounds here. I couldn't breathe.
~Cath
At the risk of sounding a little nerdy, I can explain why you may find this hairstyle especially attractive. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat men an women find attractive in each other, thens to be the things that are different - hence men likes big boobs, and women like broad shoulders. It identifies us as sexually mature men or women.
In this case, during puberty, men develop a wider chin, broader shoulders and a wider, more muscular neck, while women’s chin and shoulder stays narrow, and her neck becomes long and slender.
When you pull your hair back in this hairstyle, it makes the neck look longer, and the face is more open (and maybe approachable?), and the hair is easier to keep neat/well groomed. At the same time, your hair is not all the way up, so your hair can still look full and long.
This is also what takes effect about the hoop earrings, that you have talked about in other posts; long earrings makes the neck look longer and more elegant (and adds symmetry to the appearance). :)
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ReplyDelete